A DESERT JOURNEY OF THE HEART
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T he story behind Light After Loss
March 31, 2021 my world stopped spinning, the Earth fell from under my feet. I was sucked into a void, neither dead nor alive. This was the day my 23 year old son Kolten died. The guttural scream that left my body ripped my soul apart. Numb and in the darkness I was forced to walk, so much to do, I have to walk. I saw no light, only darkness, only pain, only death, only loss. But I had to walk. Marsi was gone, I died with Kolten that day. I didn't look the same, walk the same, or sound the same. Nothing had the same value or meaning, everything I was died. All that remained was Kolten 's light that I carried inside me. So I walked through the darkness carrying his light. I walked, for Kolten and in honor of Kolten. I walked. Pushing forward in the darkness with the ember of his light guiding the way. Breath by breath, minute by minute, day by day, month by month, navigating the treacherous landscape of grief. Intentionally creating space for my grief, giving it a voice, navigating the darkness, learning my way. It has been the hardest years of my life; full of blood, sweat, tears. and unfathomable pain. Yet here I stand, with Kolten on one side and the lioness on the other walking with me, creating a map through the desert landscape of grief. I am Evermore, a grief warrior, the fire keeper, the blood Mother, I am the Lioness and she is me. With dirt on my paws and blood in my mouth I am here to share my map through sacred grief with you.
I am Marsi Evermore Malbrough - Founder of the the sacred grief community of Light After Loss. I am a Grieving Mother, a Grief Warrior, Fire Keeper, Mystic Teacher, Poet, Intuitive Psychic, Storyteller, Guide, and Grief Rite of Passage Facilitator. I guide others on a sacred journey of the heart through the wild landscape of grief. My desire is to invoke integration and healing through the death and rebirth journey. Too gently blow on the ember of light that still burns inside you after profound loss. A beacon of light in the darkness that will help light your way.
My prayer is that by entering this space you learn to navigate your way through the desert of loss. Honoring your grief, giving it a voice, giving it the raw wild space it demands and deserves. Giving yourself permission to grieve as long and as hard as you need to. Learning new rituals and practices, to not only survive but thrive in this new life, carrying your grief and embodying the new version of self that is being reborn. To find peace, healing, forgiveness and integration. Carrying the light with you always.
Love and light,