T he story behind Light After Loss

March 31, 2021 my world stopped spinning, the Earth fell from under my feet. I was sucked into a void, neither dead nor alive. This was the day my 23 year old son Kolten died. The guttural scream that left my body ripped my soul apart. Numb and in the darkness I was forced to walk, so much to do, I have to walk. I saw no light, only darkness, only pain, only death, only loss. But I had to walk. Marsi was gone, I died with Kolten that day. I didn't look the same, walk the same, or sound the same. Nothing had the same value or meaning, everything I was died. All that remained was Kolten 's light that I carried inside me. So I walked through the darkness carrying his light. I walked, for Kolten and in honor of Kolten. I walked. Pushing forward in the darkness with the ember of his light guiding the way. Breath by breath, minute by minute, day by day, month by month, navigating the treacherous landscape of grief. Intentionally creating space for my grief, giving it a voice, navigating the darkness, learning my way. It has been the hardest years of my life; full of blood, sweat, tears. and unfathomable pain.  Yet here I stand, with Kolten  on one side and the lioness on the other walking with me, creating a map through the desert landscape of grief. I am Evermore, a grief warrior, the fire keeper, the blood Mother, I am the Lioness and she is me.  With dirt on my paws and blood in my mouth I am here to share my map through sacred grief with you.